How do I deal with this?

ianthe:

hlaefdigebecena:

intuitively:

How do I deal with a male friend who is a good person/friend, but whose sense of humor is mainly jokes dealing with gender/race/jews? Example:

Me: Hey I’m gonna grab some water. Want some?
Him: Yes, as a woman should. Fetch my water!
Me: …..

Him: Yo “n-word”!
Me: Hey.
Him: Wanna hang out?
Me: Sure.
Him: Cool. Bring your black boy with you!

Me: These cookies are gross.
Him: Yeah, they’re so Jew-y.
Me: ….

And anytime I try to bring up how not funny this is, he just guilts me by saying he’s just joking. IT DRIVES ME CRAZY and if it weren’t for this, he’d be such a good and fun guy. What do I do? 

Reblogging this in case anyone happens to have any advice. 

My advice is to slowly back away from that friendship. There’s no “if it weren’t for ____” because the fact of the matter is that that’s part of who he is and there is no “good friend” and “bad racist antisemitic sexist friend”, it’s all the same guy and if he can’t accept that he’s being offensive then I’d venture to say he’s not as good a guy as you make him out to be

Agreed.  If he tells you that he’s just joking again, very seriously tell him that you don’t find it funny and it makes you uncomfortable.  If he can’t respect your opinions on that front, he probably won’t respect any other opinions you have.

Just some lady person talking about life, lolitics, and the pursuit of burritos. Contains numerous photos of cats and elaborate puns.

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